My Fat Assets

My parents have never tolerated whining
Neither will I
I cut  ten pesos from my kids’ allowance every time I will hear them whine or complain
It teaches them to overcome all challenges thru determination, hardwork , perseverance……..or it just teaches them to shut up and whine somewhere else.
Anyway , you get the point
Whining does not accomplish anything!
So I hope my kids wont read this

Has anyone borrowed money from you , and has never paid you back?
How about requests for donations to politician’s favorite charity ( themselves)?
Does anyone keep asking annoying favors from you?
Ever noticed that more often than not , all the above starts with a sad story?
- My business is failing , I’m behind my mortgage payments and  my daughter’s debut is coming up….
- Please understand,our hardworking ( insert government official’s name ) should be properly compensated for ( name of permit required ) because he has to take care of all the needy bastards in ( insert name of city/town/agency ) singlehandedly……..
- Bosing , please I need ( insert favor )………( then proceeds with his long and very sad story )

Watch the opening sequence of the Godfather and you’ll see what I mean

Some of these story’s are legit and I’m all for helping out anyone in need
But I’m not Vito Corleone and  some of these requests are downright preposterous
Unfortunately , us Pinoys take everything personally
A blunt NO can be a personal insult and is not easily forgotten
So usually I just smile , say I’ll take care of it  and silently curse my luck
While I find it hard to say no ,   I hate borrowing money or asking  favors for myself

And I cant stand it anymore!
So instead of a blunt NO , I give then a taste of their own medicine
I zap them back with a sad story of my own!
A story so long and so depressing it makes them stand up and leave

Here’s the sequence
You’ve got to sit and listen to them whine for a bit ( notice they all tell the same story )
Then comes the request immediately after
Ask a few questions and say you understand completely because…….
Now smoothly spin  your own sad story
The longer the better
It could take awhile , but they soon get the message

I’ve become so good at this , I could recognize  an incoming sad story and make up my own  as he starts speaking.
No harm done and no hard feelings
We part ways in good terms ( gotta love our culture )

Westerners would be puzzled by all the fuss
And so would my kids
Here’s my ten pesos